Cow Juice
by jesterinblack
Summary: What if Ed was so persistent on not drinking milk not only because he despised the taste, but because he was extremely allergic to the drink? And what happens when the Colonel's team decides to prank edward by forcing him to drink it? One-shot. Rated for language.


**Another One-Shot I thought of. I have a notebook full of 'em. After this I'll update my story, 'Comforting Times'**

…**if I can stay awake anyway. It's 3:30 am haha. Also in this story, Ed is about 16 and Al is 15. But they have their bodies back, except for Ed who has an automail leg. Idk I just kinda wanted to change it up, even though I know Ed wasn't till 18 when he got their bodies back, in both animes. **

**Enjoy**

* * *

"Brother! You'll be late to your meeting with the Colonel! Get out of the shower already!"

"Damn, Al hang on! It's hard to know when you get all the soup out of your hair!"

Al sighed. "Then wake up an extra half hour early if you're gonna take that long!"

It was about 6 months ago that Ed and Al had achieved their goal of getting their bodies back. Well, except for Ed's left leg, but it wasn't anything to worry about. It kept Winry busy, after all.

The shower squeaked signaling it being turned off. A couple minutes later Ed emerged fully clothed frantically drying his hair checking the clock and muttering curses about how he didn't have time for this, and it was too early, and how he really didn't want to see the colonel bastard.. and well… everything that we tell ourselves in the morning when we have to get up early and see someone who we hate anyway without having to wake up and drag your ass out of bed.

"Language… brother…"

"I know, I know.."

Ed grabbed a piece of toast (A/N: Why is it always toast? Why not… waffles? Or pop-tarts or something? I mean it's not like they had toasters anyway back when this show's time is supposed to be so if we're gonna say toast why not some artificial 99.9% sugar pieces am I right?) and ran out the door waving by to Al.

* * *

20 minutes later he ran into HQ panting at the door to the Colonel's office. He put his game face on (A/N: I had to, im sorry xD) and waltzed in as if he wasn't 30 minutes late to a meeting.

Everyone jumped, startled at the sudden bang in the too-quiet office and went back to work after realizing it was just Fullmetal.

"Easy on the door, Ed." Mustang called not even looking up from his paperwork.

Ed huffed and plopped down on the sofa. "So what was this urgent call I got for?"

"Don't know. But I do know, that the Fuhrer requested to see you. Didn't sound important, though I don't think it's smart to have left him waiting for 30 minutes like someone I know."

Ed shot up. "Well I didn't know that! I would've hurried if you told me he requested me!"

"Well maybe next time when I call you and _say_ it's urgent you'll listen to me!" The annoyance was clear in the Colonel's voice now.

Ed growled and quickly stomped out of the room marching down to the Fuhrer's office.

Havoc smirked once the door slammed shut. "Seems he gets shorter every day, huh boss?"

Mustang smirked along with him. "Well you know what they say, Havoc. Midgets always have a temper."

Breda's laugh bellowed through the room. "You're right, boss…"

Then Havoc had an evil glint in his eyes. "Hey… I have an idea… what do you say to pulling a prank on the chief once everyone else leaves?"

Breda and Mustang leaned forward on their desks and smirked evilly. "What'd you have in mind?" they said in sync.

* * *

By the time Ed got back it was around noon. The Fuhrer wanted an oral report on what happened on what of his missions in which the Fuhrer sent him personally on. The new Fuhrer was Fuhrer Grumman, who anyone would admit was a little on the not-too-right side, but Amestris had never been better.

When Ed went back into the office it was mysteriously quiet. Also it was strange that no one was in Mustang's outer office. Usually there's at least one person there, but then again it _was_ lunchtime, so he figured it was no big deal. He walked through Mustang's office and was alarmed when the door slammed shut behind him. Before he even had time to turn around and clap a hand was wrapped around his mouth and his hands were taken apart from each other, effectively enabling him from clapping.

Then he recognized the voices…

_Mustang._

You could almost hear the evil tone the way Ed said it in his head and by the way he squinted his eyes, you could tell he was pissed.

"Whoa, calm your tits, Ed. We're just havin' fun." Mustang said in a dangerously low tone. He took his hand off of Ed's face.

"FUN? You call this fun?! I could've seriously injured you guys if I didn't know it was you! What the fuck kind of a game is this anyway?!"Ed hollered.

"Yeah, cause you looked like you were about to fight us, Ed." The smartass tone came from Breda. Ed glared at him.

"Well, after you left. We were all discussing how short you've gotten lately- whoa,there. Hang on don't start ranting on me yet, Ed. So we just figured we'd give you a little… _help."_ Havoc said evilly. He turned to a table and grabbed a carton of milk he bought from the cafeteria.

Ed's eyes opened. "What?! No wait! Stop you don't underst-"

He was cut off with the carton being shoved at his face. He turned his head away and made sure to clamp his mouth shut.

"Aw, come on, Ed. Don't be like that. Don't you want to grow big and strong?"

Ed stayed with glaring, too afraid that if he opened his mouth they would shove the disgusting cow juice down his throat. The one that he so happened to be very,_ very,_ allergic to. As in his throat would close up and have to be taken to a hospital.

Mustang sighed and started trying to open Ed's mouth causing a struggle. They took the struggle down to the Colonel's sofa where Havoc pinned Ed's hands above his head while Breda held the milk carton. Mustang straddled Ed's lap trying to force his mouth open.

Finally once he pinched Ed's cheek a little too hard, Ed's mouth opened slightly. Just enough time for Mustang to grab it and force it open even more.

"Pour it in, quick!" Mustang commanded.

Breda quickly poured about half the carton down Ed's throat and Ed had no choice but to swallow it as Mustang clamped his mouth shut.

They all smirked and started laughing at the way Ed looked sprawled out on the couch panting for breath.

Until Ed started hyperventilating, of course.

"Huh, Ed you ok?" Mustang asked in a worried tone.

Ed fell off the couch and started crawling toward the door not stopping hyperventilating for a minute. His throat was closing up pretty fast.

"Ed! Calm down, jeez if we'd known you'd over react that much we wouldn't have done it." Breda complained as if nothing was going on.

"You-you don't.. g-get it… im-im-im allergic t-t-o m-milk…" Ed said between gasps and dry heaves.

They all sent each other a worried glance before running over to Ed and crouching down.

"What-what happens?! Are you okay?!" Mustang shook Ed.

Ed finally laid limp against Mustang's chest his body still shook from his constant coughing and heaving.

"Im getting him to the hospital. Havoc, come with me! Breda stay here and tell everyone ill be back later!" He picked Ed up bridal style and ran out of the building with Havoc trailing quickly behind.

* * *

10 minutes later they arrived at the hospital and rushed Edward into a room with a doctor.

"Help, he drank milk and we didn't know he was allergic to it! He cant breathe!" Mustang was frantically trying to wake Ed up, who had fainted on the way over. Thankfully he was still breathing, but they were shallow and looked pained.

"Right away, nurse! Get the gurney!"

They placed Ed on the gurney and then Havoc and Roy watched as they rushed Ed down the hall into two doors which opened immediately to let them in.

* * *

It's been about an hour since they've left Headquarters and the Colonel told Havoc to go back to work about a half hour ago. Mustang stayed and waited to hear the news on how Edward was. He hoped they hadn't gone too far…

"Colonel Mustang?"

"Yes?!"

"Edward is stable. He's in the room down the hall. We gave him some medicine to calm down the swelling in his throat but otherwise when he wakes up he may leave. Just… don't let him drink milk again. Especially part of the swelling was from it being forced."

Mustang sighed and nodded following her down the hall. He went into the room and found the sleeping Edward on the bed. He took a seat next to the bed and watched him as he slept.

Eventually he too fell asleep after an hour of watching Fullmetal.

When he woke up, the room was fairly dark, and a pair of gold eyes were watching him silently.

He jumped up in his seat. "Ed! Are you ok? How do you feel? Can you breathe all right?"

Ed just blinked and nodded. "I'm fine…"

Roy sighed and sat up straighter. "I'm… sorry, for doing that, Ed. I didn't know you were allergic… I thought you just hated the taste…"

"It's fine. I've never told anyone so it doesn't matter."

The two sat in silence just daydreaming and thinking. When suddenly a large smack was heard through the room.

Mustang found that his cheek was stinging and looked to find a very pleased Edward looking at him, though scowling as usual.

"That's for doing that, bastard."

Mustang nodded and gave Ed a small smile. "You put up a good fight though, Im surprised."

Ed scoffed. "Yeah, well, im kinda used to people attacking me."

"We didn't attack you…"

"You attacked me."

"All right, maybe we did but I said im sorry."

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to forgive you though."

Mustang sighed, for probably the 5th time that day. He sat at the edge of Ed's bed and pulled him into a hug. "Sorry…"

Ed struggled, well as much as he could, but finally gave in and laid limp against Roy. Eventually Ed shifted to a more comfortable position and snuggled into Roy's chest and sighed.

"It's ok."

* * *

**That's it… I guess… I didn't really know how I was going to end that, so I just kinda ended it there. **

**Any requests you got for me, name it. Really. It doesn't have to be RoyEd i suppose, but it should probably be FMA because that's really the only anime that i know everyone's name to besides for Angel Beats and Ouran High School Host Club. So yeah.  
**

**Well that's it for now,**

**Jester out**


End file.
